Friends in low places

As my diabetes has become more controlled over the past week (average blood sugar level of 320 is down to 160) it has also become more visible. Friends I've had for months are suddenly asking "wait, did you just inject yourself?" and people who always saw my diabetes as "no big deal" are beginning to see that it is, in fact, a big deal. I'm unsure of how I feel about this. In a way it's nice to know that I'm a little more out in the open about my problems, but on the other hand it makes my disease feel just that--> out in the open. I also had an experience today that I have never had in any non-hospital related setting, a stranger asked me if I was diabetic.
I had just finished testing my sugars in a theater before the beginning of Shutter Island (decent movie f.y.i.) and the man next to me asks "hey are you a type one or type two diabetic?" This is the point where I instantly regretted testing my sugars in public, and started to feel hyper self conscious about whether or not this man believed I "did this to myself." Surprisingly though, after a halfhearted smile and an admission of "type one," he quick turned to his girlfriend and said "see she's type one too!" She immediately perked up to tell me about her pump and a quick discussion of CGM's started up. Suddenly I didn't feel so different or alone, and I was grateful that I had tested, right there in my theater seat.
This week has been hard, but knowing that I have a community of support and resources, along with some well timed strangers has made me realize that I'm not alone. I have some friends in low places, as well as the high places... and all those numbers in between.

Back in the saddle?

“Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning" -Gandhi

Well today has been a frustrating day. I had a midterm today that I thought I was prepared for, but apparently I wasn't. On top of this I woke up with a blood sugar of 357. Since I still believe strongly in a good breakfast before a test I just took extra insulin and had some oatmeal. Fast forward 3 hours later and I am sitting at 352! Since my midterm is over I decide I'm not going to eat until I can get my sugars down, and take an extra injection. 50 minutes more and it's down to 283! Yes on the way down (i think). Now, six hours later I'm at 164... and really hungry! I know that this is my first day back, and that I need to be patient with myself.. but I really hate this. I'm trying so hard to stay motivated. I just keep thinking about my nieces, and how much I want to be around to watch them grow up. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.....

First Time

I don't know how to do this, I've never had a blog before. So I guess I'll start by listing the reasons why I want to take better care of myself. I have, in the past year, gone for weeks without a drop of insulin, for months with out a single blood test. Basically, I have lived as though there was never a diagnosis. This has resulted in throwing up every time I ate, getting eye infections, girl infections and suffering through H1N1. Yet none of this was enough to motivate me to get back on track. I hope I'm motivated now. So here are the reasons why I want to do better (some donated by others):

*My amazing family (they are my inspiration)
<--- here they are doing a diabetes race for me

* I could sleep better

* I wouldn't get a lump in my throat everytime a professor mentions the complications of diabetes

*I'd be able to travel the world (or just the state!)

*I could live to be a great-grandmother

* I could be around to see my nieces grow up

*I would be a better role model for these beautiful little girls ------------------->

* I could have some babies of my own some day

* I would be able to actually USE the degree I'm working so hard to get for long enough for it to be worth it.

*I could make sure to keep all my limbs and vital organs working at tip-top shape


This is all I can think of. I hope it's enough....